


Words That Just Wouldn't Come Out

by joggerwriting



Series: ✨ Merthur Week 2020 ✨ [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Emotionally Constipated Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Established Relationship, Exploring the idea of how the non-magic citizens would react after decades of anti-magic propaganda, M/M, Merthur Old Married Couple Vibes, Post-Magic Reveal, Protective Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Protective Merlin (Merlin), Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), merthur are so used to bickering as a method of flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28359933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joggerwriting/pseuds/joggerwriting
Summary: "You're not..." Arthur paused, lips turning dry all of a sudden. Merlin looked at him in confusion. "...you're not that useless after all.""I thought that's been established for a while now, Arthur," replied Merlin with an easy smile."Wait, no, that's not the words I meant," the king grumbled to himself, feeling helpless and frustrated with himself at once.Arthur is not good with romantic and gentle words.But Merlinunderstands.OR,In which some people of Camelot still have an unhealthy fear of magic (f*ck you Uther) and consequently, Merlin throwing around thunderbolts is not too appreciated, and an emotionally-constipated Arthur isstruggling(TM) to help his consort.Just Merthur's married couple stuff.Written for Merthur Week 2020Day 2: “I’m so proud of you.” + Established relationship
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: ✨ Merthur Week 2020 ✨ [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2075865
Comments: 9
Kudos: 225
Collections: Merthur Week 2020





	Words That Just Wouldn't Come Out

**Author's Note:**

> At this point, the way I'm doing the prompts is like cooking scrambled eggs 😭  
> So here's the submission for Day 2 Prompt. Fluff, attempt at humour (heh) and angst with a dash of BAMF Merlin action. Oh boy, I love writing Merthur married stuff fluff <3
> 
> Hope you'll find this enjoyable! It's a bit longer so sit tight and sip your coffee ☕

Noble.

Brave.

Fair.

Upholder of justice.

The beloved ruler of the five kingdoms.

.

Those were the words mostly used to describe King Arthur Pendragon, if you asked any of his subject. Or maybe you would get a more... _eh..._ _colourful..._ variant like clotpole, dollophead, cabbagehead, royal pratishness, and the once and future king -- if you asked his consort, who was also Camelot's famed court sorcerer, when he was in a particularly cheeky mood; but most of the times, Merlin also agreed that those aforementioned words described Arthur's traits to a tee. 

(Merlin might have been the one who kept prattling Arthur's lofty praises in the market after all.) 

.

But Arthur, for all his great qualities, was never good at emotions.

Give him a griffin, a boar, or maybe a dragon to fight--he'd rather pick up a sword than try weaving poetry to court someone.

His experience with romance was a bit abysmal too, marred with hilarious (according to Merlin) incidents involving love potions, sidhe's enchantments, and of course... coming across as a royal arse when he first met Merlin.

.

Now that they were together, Merlin often took great pleasure in reminiscing about their first meeting. That adorable little shit.

.

The point was, Arthur was not good with romantic and gentle words - stuff that he'd usually leave to Merlin, the big girl that he was. His father's teaching still weighed heavily on him, like an echo of voices constantly shouting in his mind whenever he encountered things which might be considered weak or inappropriate for strong rulers. (Merlin was working hard to help him quiet those voices, but still.. it was a process.)

He'd wooed Merlin just fine with fond jibes-- or maybe Merlin was just _weird_ in that category, but that was one of the many things Arthur secretly loved about him.

Merlin _understood,_ and he was not afraid to retaliate with his own--as much as he hated to admit it--wittier and sassier remarks.

Their banter was their guilty past time.

.

But sometimes, _only sometimes because Merlin had been so used to lying and hiding his true self that even Arthur had to make an extra effort to discern his warlock -_ sometimes, he would see a tiny glimpse of desire to be appreciated on the warlock's face, before it was immediately erased and it was replaced with Merlin's usual easy-going self. The familiarity and the _ease_ to which Merlin did it were quite concerning, but it had become the warlock's usual modus operandi.

Arthur, to the contrary of what people said, was not as oblivious as he looked like.

\--and he knew Merlin well.

.

The desire to be accepted, the desire to belong, the desire to be seen as more than a tool of destiny, _far more than a monster_ \-- Merlin might not know it but Arthur had heard every single one of his nightmares ever since they started sleeping together..

It saddened the king more than anything else that he was still struggling to give Merlin something that he needed.

But the words....just wouldn't come out.

.

* * *

It was dark and damp, hardly the place for the king of Camelot and a group of his glorious knights, famed as the most capable in all realms. Then again, this type of brigands and crooks always seemed to gather around such places.

Arthur and his knights were just strolling around the southern borders, not too far off from the city. It was supposed to a part of their training routine - the senior knights had to show the squires the ropes and the basics of patrolling.

That was what he'd said to Merlin, when his court warlock wanted to come.

.

"But Arthur-," protested Merlin as Arthur heard the raven quickening his pace down the staircase to reach him.

"-no, Merlin," he said firmly before another argument could break out. 

There was a huff of exasperation behind him, and Arthur turned to face his stubborn lover. His heart softened seeing the worried way Merlin bit his lip even though those azure eyes looked annoyed.

"This is a standard routine of a knight's training. You said it yourself that you have no interest in observing these procedures, unless...," Arthur raised one eyebrow and grinned, "...you would rethink your refusal of me knighting you?"

At that, his warlock scoffed, and Arthur did an internal dance of victory. Appealing to Merlin's disdain of titles was always a successful way to derail him. Plus, it was amusing to see.

"No, you won't give me any more of those godforsaken titles, Arthur."

"I won't." He paused, rolling his eyes fondly. "But the druids might. In fact, I overheard Iseldir talking about you last week..."

Merlin's eyes widened in horror and Arthur stifled his laughter. 

"I will have a talk with him, and _no, Arthur_ -" he huffed again and darted to his king's side as he saw Arthur take advantage of his distraction and signal for his horse.

"-we're going to be fine, _Mer_ lin." Arthur adjusted his cape and sighed, putting his arms around Merlin's shoulders. "Don't be a worrywart, okay?"

"I am not a worrywart!" The raven glared and scrunched up his nose in annoyance, making Arthur want to kiss him-- _but that was not the time_. "I'm just worried about you!"

"Aw, you're sweet, but still a worrywart."

"Fine!" Merlin folded his arms in exasperation. "If you want to be a prat about it..."

But despite the narrowed eyes and closed-off posture, Merlin was pliant when Arthur pulled him into his arms, kissing the warlock's forehead and ~~cute~~ scrunched-up nose in a wordless apology before he mounted his horse.

"Nothing is going to happen, Merlin. Besides, what would the neighbouring kings think if the knights of Camelot cannot handle a simple training trip without Camelot's warlock?"

And Merlin let up and exhaled tiredly. "I am not doubting their abilities, Arthur, but I'm just..."

"...worried, I know." Arthur quirked up a smile. "Don't worry, love, we'll come back before sun sets. In the meantime, make yourself useful. Go...read some magic books or whatever."

Merlin raised a disapproving eyebrow.

Arthur grinned confidently and raised an arm as a cue for his knights to start marching. He might have been showing off a little to his lover, though it was worth it seeing Merlin's beautiful frown turned into an expression that could only be described as affectionately exasperated. Then, as he spurred his mare and looked back to his warlock who was watching him attentively from the citadel's steps, he saw a glint of gold and felt Merlin's now-familiar protection spell washing over him.

.

"Stay safe," his warlock's soft voice suddenly whispered in his mind.

Great warmth blossomed in his chest, and he felt like he could sing some very embarrassing poetry about it, so Arthur's mind impulsively thought of a snarky comeback.

"Of course. What would we do without your useless ass?" 

He felt a little bit guilty when Merlin's magic closed down the connection with a huff.

.

Now he wished he hadn't tempted fate and inadvertently brought this bad luck upon them.

But who was he trying to kid? There was always _something_ happening in each excursion outside the city. 

.

As could be seen from their current situation, those were unfortunately his famous last words. A squire-in-training was entrusted with the task of leading the way but he made the mistake of taking a less-travelled path instead of their usual. By the time Arthur and his other senior knights started to sense something amiss with the progressively-unfamiliar terrain, they had apparently stumbled into a robber's gorge.

...where a large amount of bandits, outlaws, and brigands had gathered.

.

It was hard to tell who was more surprised, them or Arthur's party - but in the end, they had the home advantage, as the place was their base of operations, and Arthur only brought a select number of skilled knights with him while the others were trainees. He knew a losing battle when he saw it.

The Arthur of the past would have fought senselessly with honour being the only thing in mind, but _King Arthur_ had the lives of his knights on his shoulders, as well as a whole kingdom waiting for him back home.

Not to mention... _Merlin._

.

That was why he was currently inside this dark and damp place, playing docile hostages with his knights while their captors debated whether to hold ransom over Camelot or use them as bargaining chips over other kingdoms.

He would have to make his knights swear never to bring up this embarrassing situation to Merlin after they got out of here.

Now to figure out the get out of here part...

.

He would definitely get them out.

He was _the_ Arthur Pendragon.

Look, it didn't matter that magic got him out of most life-threatening situation, okay?

Merlin would not hear a word of this.

Merlin would..

.

There was a BAM and the ground shook. Shrieks of fear were heard from the outside as the younger knights and the captors who guarded them looked around in terror and tried to stabilise themselves.

Arthur groaned.

A moment later, there was a bright flash and everyone had to avert their eyes while what could not be mistaken for anything other than the smell of burning human flesh started to permeate the air. A couple more flashes shook the place following that with more lightning bolts zipping through the narrow entrance of their makeshift prison, taking down the last of their captors.

.

A beat of silence.

"Going overboard with the thunderbolts, love?" 

Arthur smiled charmingly as he saw Merlin emerging from the smoke, looking tiny amidst the crumbling stones and fiery devastation. Exasperation and worry were etched on his face.

"Don't "love" me now, Arthur Pendragon. Of all the stupid things, how _the hell_ could you manage to find the most deadly out of all perils and walk straight into it? I swear to the fucking triple goddesses-"

"-hey," protested Arthur, trying his best to look dignified and kingly and hide his _still_ chained hands behind his back - that he unfortunately had not managed to wriggle out from - preferably before Merlin saw it. Because that just wasn't fair. It was not like Arthur chose to stumble upon the largest bandit gorge found in the southern borders for fun.

But Merlin was full-on glaring at him now, and dear heavens Merlin _could glare_ \- just ask Sir Mordred about it.

The senior knights were treacherously snickering now. 

Merlin was all-out ranting now.

"-there's a fine line between bravery and _sheer_ stupidity that you seem to ignore most of the times. Can't you get it into your big head that you can't stick your sword into everything that's moving-"

"-hold up. Now that's a little bit unfair, _Mer_ lin. Might I remind you once more just exactly who, between both of us, wanted to put Athuisa inside our chambers? If that's not sheer stupidity then I don't know what is."

Merlin gasped, scandalised. "She's just a _baby_. How'd you expect her to be left alone in the _stables_?"

"She's a _dragon_ , _Mer_ lin! You can't put a fucking dragon inside a chamber. _Our_ chamber," emphasised Arthur with a straight face, but inside he was grinning. Merlin was sufficiently distracted.

It just had to be ruined by an uncomfortable coughing from one of the newbie knights. 

"Uh, Lord Merlin... would you please...uh...do some freaky m-magic to these manacles?" The young knight was suddenly the subject of multiple glares, including Arthur's, who went on him extra harsh not only for the interruption, but also because he revealed himself to be one of _those people._

The people who were still unable to see beyond Uther's anti-magic ideology that had poisoned the minds of Camelot's citizens for decades - that Arthur was still trying hard to change. He used to be one of those, after all. 

The undisguised fear in the young man's attitude as Merlin kindly turned to him and exclaimed, "Please, call me Merlin! None of the lord nonsense," was evident. The warlock, after receiving the fearful and slightly-disgusted look as a response - that the knight had not managed to completely conceal - immediately lost his smile and hesitated, before tilting his head and relieving them of their chains. He then seemed to shrink into himself a little bit, almost unnoticeable. 

But Arthur caught it.

And he was infuriated.

.

Merlin seemed to lose his fire after that and was just content to hide behind Arthur as the king barked commands for them to rummage through the ruined hideout and retrieve their confisticated weapons, while also to prepare for a journey back to Camelot.

His warlock had come alone in his hastened worry after sensing Arthur's distress.

Merlin was almost too cheerful as he conversed with some of the senior knights, so Arthur pulled him close just as the men were preparing the horses.

"Are you not going to say 'I told you so'?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah," Merlin nodded. "I told you so."

Arthur snorted and nudged his raven-haired lover on the shoulder playfully and lovingly, while his mind whirring on what words to say. Should he just ignore that altogether? That seemed to be the way Merlin had decided to deal with the situation.

Ignore and shoulder-on.

Put a good-natured ribbing here and there.

Then watch until this incident appears in one of Merlin's nightmares.

.

He just _had_ to do something.

"You're not..." Arthur paused, lips turning dry all of a sudden. Merlin looked at him in confusion. "...you're not that useless after all."

"I thought that's been established for a while now, Arthur," replied Merlin with an easy smile. "Or do you need a bit more _reminding_ , _my lord?"_ he added with a suggestive lift of an eyebrow, which almost sent Arthur askew from his initial intention.

"No, that's not the words I meant," the king grumbled to himself, feeling helpless and frustrated with himself at once. Merlin put a hand on his arm now, feeling concerned.

"Are you alright, Arthur?"

"No, it's just--" At a loss of words and being a man of action, Arthur put his palms on either side of Merlin's face, and pulled him gently into a loving kiss, trying to convey all of his thoughts, all of his love, hoping that it was conveyed successfully. Merlin, equally softly, kissed back eagerly as well, albeit with a little dash of confusion.

His lips travelled from Merlin's lips to both of his cheeks, along the line of the sharp cheekbones, and finally, to his forehead. Then he leaned his forehead to his warlock's one together, sighing.

Merlin's eyes were closed, but he was smiling so delicately. "Hmm, not that I'm complaining but-"

"-you know I love you, right?" Arthur gulped and rushed out the words before the adrenaline faded. "I appreciate you and I am so damn proud of you. Don't listen to what they say, you belong here, with me, and with us, the people who love you so much, and God helps me because I'm so in love with you I want to write you poetry with words I usually can't say. And I... I..." Arthur flushed, a swift rush of embarrassment twisted his tongue and stole his words. 

He closed his eyes, unable to continue.

Then, gently... incredibly gently, he felt Merlin's lips lightly peppering him with kisses on his lips, cheeks, forehead, and then... both of his closed eyelids. Slender fingers were caressing his face, and then they travelled to his hair, touches as light as feathers - the lovingness and gentleness of the action were present in every stroke.

 _"Cariad,"_ Merlin whispered, and Arthur opened his eyes to see azure eyes close to him, tender and shining with happiness. "I know. _I understand_. Thank you."

.

Arthur was not good with romantic and gentle words.

But Merlin _understood._

**Author's Note:**

>  _Cariad_ : old Welsh for "my love"  
> \--  
> I feel like Arthur is more of a man of action, while Merlin's love language is both act of service and words of affirmation (just look at how many times he praises Arthur, despite calling him prat and clotpole too in the next sentence, and tries to build Arthur's confidence in canon).
> 
> Arthur's actions are so much more romantic than his words 💖
> 
> This is probably the last of my short fics (and the last Merthur Week entry) in a while. I'm planning to focus on finishing Acceptance and drafting a multi-chaptered Merthur AU starting New Year.  
> As always, kudos and comments are really appreciated. Thank you so much for reading, my loves.


End file.
